My mom is awesome-and evil at the same time.
Let me explain:
For my birthday, she sent me a gift certificate to-wait for it- ATHLETA! I am in my glory. I was so excited when I opened that envelope and saw what it was. I started looking through the catalog with my gift certificate spending it three times over in my head and then BAM! Frozen...
Here I am, I have this awesome gift certificate and I can't bring myself to order anything. How do I spend it? I need things-a cover up for the beach, a new bathing suit, etc. I want things- that awesome hat, the cool dress, the funky purse. And then there are the work out clothes-dreamy pants, shirts and sports bras that I have been drooling over for months. What to do?
If I buy the work out clothes is it cheating? I am not at my weight goal that I had set to get the clothes- I am still a long way off. If I allow myself this luxury aren't I just saying it is ok if you don't meet your goals? Will that open up more avenues for me to cheat? Maybe if I can buy the clothes then I can eat the candy bar, skip the workout, blah, blah, blah...I'm not kidding- this is going through my head!
BUT- if I get the bathing suit and I do lose the weight then I have wasted the gift certificate because the bathing suit doesn't fit anymore. That seems like a silly idea. I have this problem a lot. Most likely it explains why I do all of my shopping from sale racks, Marshalls and TJ Maxx. I just can't warrant spending money on anything because I want to lose the weight and I am pretty sure I will. It has just taken me forever to do it- and as a result my wardrobe is smaller than either of my daughters and they are 2 and 4. I was saying to Lucas the other day,"Buddy, everyone thinks you own 5 shirts because you wear the same ones every week." I then went upstairs to get dressed and realized that I couldn't talk. The pot just called the kettle black! I truly do own about 5 shirts and only 3 pair of pants. (Not to mention the 1 pair of sweatpants!) Thank goodness for the kind gym friends that gave me their hand me downs. It served two purposes- it got me some new clothes and it made me believe that the weight would be lost. They gave me their fat clothes because they were going to the gym...see how that circle worked?
Then there are the purses and the shoes. Two things that are my loyal stand bys. In times of overweight, ideal weight, skinny weight a purse or a pair of shoes will always fit. I don't know anyone that owns a pair of "fat" shoes or their "skinny" purse. My closet is over run with that kind of stuff- accessories. They don't discriminate.
Oh the HORROR of an awesome gift certificate. I am torn...I guess I will just go look at the catalog again and keep dreaming. Maybe some day I will actually redeem it! I love you, evil Mom! Thanks for the gift certificate and the ensuing torture I have been living with each day.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Throwing someone else to the dogs
I did it! I successfully brainwashed my first victim and it is my HUSBAND! Ha!! Take that! On Saturday, James went to his initial session of CrossFit training at CrossFit Rumble/Silvaback Athletics. Yup! I am SO psyched to watch this happen that I can barely stand the fact he hasn't gone more than just once. I want him to be able to do multiple sessions this week just to see how he feels.
It all started a few weeks back when James was commenting on how he needed to do something. The Y just wasn't cutting it for him and he needed a set time to go and get it done and someone to tell him what to do. Sounded vaguely familiar, but I didn't say anything. I just empathized and went about my merry way (limping, aching, taking Advil). I do believe at one point I told him to "Shit or get off the pot," but that's the way it goes chez Boyle. The sympathy is AMAZING!
He has always been supportive of my going to the gym. He never really asks me about it, but knows how it makes me feel when I can't go. He always makes sure that he can do whatever possible to help me get there. I know it is fairly useless to say that I am sore because that would just invite the pokes, prods and taps that immediately result in pain. I don't like to talk too much about it either- I get a lot of snarky comments when I talk about it. So, there I sit and suddenly James mentions he wants to go to the gym.
We had sent the kids off to school and James had a little time before he went in to the office. Once again, he was complaining about how he just couldn't get it together. He needed to have something organized, so he could act as if it was an appointment. That would give him the motivation to get out of the house. He was sick of the same old going to the Y and riding the simulated bike tour thing-a-ma-jig. I finally told him exactly how I felt- that this was my same problem and that Seth could give him a work out that you didn't have to spend 2 hours doing in order to feel like you accomplished something. Twenty minutes at CrossFit was ten minutes too long at the gym in my opinion! But that's part of the draw-I don't have 45 minutes to spend on the elliptical trainer and then go do the weights. I have about an hour free where I can do something for myself and at CrossFit I can "Git 'er done."
So, James wants to try the CrossFit thing out. I thought he was joking, but as I headed upstairs to shower he asked me if I would mind if he went to the same gym as me. CrossFit was "my thing" and he didn't want to intrude. Uh? What? MY thing? At the moment, CrossFit owns me. It kicks my butt every time and I still go back for more. Very rarely do I kick CrossFit's butt. Let me tell you- when I do, you will be the first to know!
He went on to say that he would go to the other gym in town and he could do it there. That's when I gasped and looked at him as though he was a traitor. Someone that had no right even attempting to do this type of workout. My jaw hit the floor as he uttered the words. You see, although Seth has a way of choosing workouts that will render you unable to walk and inflict pain on you in a way you never thought imaginable, the idea that there is any other place to go is simply unthinkable. It's like Stockholm Syndrome. My answer-"If you go and you don't support Seth I would be mortified. Absolutely unthinkable."
By the time I got out of the shower, James reported to me that he would be able to go on Monday nights and Thursday mornings and he told me how much it would cost for him to do it. I was impressed. He took the initiative to find the web site on his own and look up all of this information and really think it through. (I'll make it easy for you readers: www.silvabackathletics.com)That's when I realized he was serious.
Flash forward to this past Friday night. A beautiful day here on Cape Cod and no school. James gets done early, our new porch furniture arrived, lots of friends around and hence, much beer was to be drunk. By about 10:30 pm James realizes he has to be at the gym at 8:30 am. Oops- a little late to stop drinking and just relax. In his infinite wisdom and beer encouraged strength on Friday evening he throws down the gauntlet. "I'm stronger than you think I am." "I got this." etc, etc. You can likely imagine my response based on the level of sympathy in our home. "Fine. I don't want to hear you say I am sore or I hurt- not once! You'll see...but don't complain."
Guess who felt like junk on Saturday morning at about 9:30 am after his first work out? I am guessing he REALLY wanted to tell me how crappy he felt also. I can't WAIT until he goes back! Just watching him stand up, all stiff and sore biting his lip because he spoke too soon is FUN. I'll make him suffer for a week or two-then I'll roll with it.
It all started a few weeks back when James was commenting on how he needed to do something. The Y just wasn't cutting it for him and he needed a set time to go and get it done and someone to tell him what to do. Sounded vaguely familiar, but I didn't say anything. I just empathized and went about my merry way (limping, aching, taking Advil). I do believe at one point I told him to "Shit or get off the pot," but that's the way it goes chez Boyle. The sympathy is AMAZING!
He has always been supportive of my going to the gym. He never really asks me about it, but knows how it makes me feel when I can't go. He always makes sure that he can do whatever possible to help me get there. I know it is fairly useless to say that I am sore because that would just invite the pokes, prods and taps that immediately result in pain. I don't like to talk too much about it either- I get a lot of snarky comments when I talk about it. So, there I sit and suddenly James mentions he wants to go to the gym.
We had sent the kids off to school and James had a little time before he went in to the office. Once again, he was complaining about how he just couldn't get it together. He needed to have something organized, so he could act as if it was an appointment. That would give him the motivation to get out of the house. He was sick of the same old going to the Y and riding the simulated bike tour thing-a-ma-jig. I finally told him exactly how I felt- that this was my same problem and that Seth could give him a work out that you didn't have to spend 2 hours doing in order to feel like you accomplished something. Twenty minutes at CrossFit was ten minutes too long at the gym in my opinion! But that's part of the draw-I don't have 45 minutes to spend on the elliptical trainer and then go do the weights. I have about an hour free where I can do something for myself and at CrossFit I can "Git 'er done."
So, James wants to try the CrossFit thing out. I thought he was joking, but as I headed upstairs to shower he asked me if I would mind if he went to the same gym as me. CrossFit was "my thing" and he didn't want to intrude. Uh? What? MY thing? At the moment, CrossFit owns me. It kicks my butt every time and I still go back for more. Very rarely do I kick CrossFit's butt. Let me tell you- when I do, you will be the first to know!
He went on to say that he would go to the other gym in town and he could do it there. That's when I gasped and looked at him as though he was a traitor. Someone that had no right even attempting to do this type of workout. My jaw hit the floor as he uttered the words. You see, although Seth has a way of choosing workouts that will render you unable to walk and inflict pain on you in a way you never thought imaginable, the idea that there is any other place to go is simply unthinkable. It's like Stockholm Syndrome. My answer-"If you go and you don't support Seth I would be mortified. Absolutely unthinkable."
By the time I got out of the shower, James reported to me that he would be able to go on Monday nights and Thursday mornings and he told me how much it would cost for him to do it. I was impressed. He took the initiative to find the web site on his own and look up all of this information and really think it through. (I'll make it easy for you readers: www.silvabackathletics.com)That's when I realized he was serious.
Flash forward to this past Friday night. A beautiful day here on Cape Cod and no school. James gets done early, our new porch furniture arrived, lots of friends around and hence, much beer was to be drunk. By about 10:30 pm James realizes he has to be at the gym at 8:30 am. Oops- a little late to stop drinking and just relax. In his infinite wisdom and beer encouraged strength on Friday evening he throws down the gauntlet. "I'm stronger than you think I am." "I got this." etc, etc. You can likely imagine my response based on the level of sympathy in our home. "Fine. I don't want to hear you say I am sore or I hurt- not once! You'll see...but don't complain."
Guess who felt like junk on Saturday morning at about 9:30 am after his first work out? I am guessing he REALLY wanted to tell me how crappy he felt also. I can't WAIT until he goes back! Just watching him stand up, all stiff and sore biting his lip because he spoke too soon is FUN. I'll make him suffer for a week or two-then I'll roll with it.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Happy Birthday to Me!
Today I am 39 years old. I have gotten some posts saying,"Happy 29th...again" I have gotten the "happy 40th-might as well get used to it" post and I have just gotten some plain old "Happy Birthdays." Every single wish is read and appreciated. Facebook and the internet have gone a long way in allowing people to stay in touch. I am EXTREMELY thankful that all of these wishes are not in the form of phone calls. When I was in my pre-internet days, I wouldn't even ANSWER the phone on my birthday. It was too much like work. Now I can catch up at my leisure, and I love it.
My birthday is always the time the I get a little introspective. Most people hit that,"What have I done with myself?" mode around New Year's. I tend to give it a little longer to stew. I usually end up spending a few days thinking long and hard about where I am, what I am doing and how I will make a difference in the world. When I was 23-27 I was perpetually bummed out...what was I doing with myself at that time in my life.
Today, I am 39 and you know what? I am psyched. I don't care how old I am. I will let everyone know. I am 39 and I can dead lift 212 pounds (PR), back squat 152 pounds (PR) and press 70 pounds (PR) and that was just on Monday. Today I managed to push jerk 95 pounds (another PR). I'll take that for my out of shape self! I feel like I am starting a whole new chapter of my life. I feel a commitment I haven't felt in a while to something that I actually enjoy. *GULP* Did that just come out of my mouth? Each day when I finish a work out, I feel like I did something. I pushed myself to a limit I didn't think I would ever reach and I accomplished something new. Today I tried to go for 100 pounds, in the push jerk, but I was a little greedy. You know what? I would have been more angry if I didn't try than I am that I tried and failed. I know now that I WILL do it one day. It just wasn't today.
So how does this roll over in to my life? Here I am talking about the gym on my birthday and not thinking about where I am at in life, but that is just it. I am HERE. I can do IT. I just don't know what "it" is yet. At 39 years old and trying this whole CrossFit thing, I have discovered that "it" is a whole bunch of stuff wrapped up in one and this one little gym has shown me that I am not done pushing myself to limits I never thought I could reach.
I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I have a million places to visit on my bucket list and that is just the start. There are 1,000 experiences that I would like to have- not as many foods I would like to taste, but maybe that limit will be pushed when I am 49. I am raising 3 kids. Each of them has helped me maintain my "kid" attitude and I am very thankful for them because on this particular birthday I don't feel old at all. I feel like I am still too young to have the responsibility of shaping the minds and hearts of 3 young children. Who thought I was capable of doing THAT? There's also this guy who has stood by my side for 16 years now and has challenged me throughout life's events to be the best person I can be. He has brought out strength I never thought I had and struggled through the thick and thin of the uncertainties that one faces over time without passing judgement along the way. I am not the person that my husband married 10 years ago, but we have taken that journey together.
So, after all of this rambling, what am I saying...somewhere along the line I have found that this year is not a stepping stone in to being old. It's the start of something new. It's a celebration of being able to push yourself to places that you never thought you could go. To being able to face your fear and conquer it. I am looking forward to the journey. I am glad that throughout these years I have made the choices I have. Every one, good or bad has shaped me and led me to this place where I am right now. I have some pretty cool stories and have lived a rich life. Full of friends, family and experiences that I wouldn't change for the world. I only hope that the stories can keep coming, the friendships can keep growing, the experiences are rich and that I will never figure out what I want to be when I grow up. If I figure that out, what would I be working towards?
My birthday is always the time the I get a little introspective. Most people hit that,"What have I done with myself?" mode around New Year's. I tend to give it a little longer to stew. I usually end up spending a few days thinking long and hard about where I am, what I am doing and how I will make a difference in the world. When I was 23-27 I was perpetually bummed out...what was I doing with myself at that time in my life.
Today, I am 39 and you know what? I am psyched. I don't care how old I am. I will let everyone know. I am 39 and I can dead lift 212 pounds (PR), back squat 152 pounds (PR) and press 70 pounds (PR) and that was just on Monday. Today I managed to push jerk 95 pounds (another PR). I'll take that for my out of shape self! I feel like I am starting a whole new chapter of my life. I feel a commitment I haven't felt in a while to something that I actually enjoy. *GULP* Did that just come out of my mouth? Each day when I finish a work out, I feel like I did something. I pushed myself to a limit I didn't think I would ever reach and I accomplished something new. Today I tried to go for 100 pounds, in the push jerk, but I was a little greedy. You know what? I would have been more angry if I didn't try than I am that I tried and failed. I know now that I WILL do it one day. It just wasn't today.
So how does this roll over in to my life? Here I am talking about the gym on my birthday and not thinking about where I am at in life, but that is just it. I am HERE. I can do IT. I just don't know what "it" is yet. At 39 years old and trying this whole CrossFit thing, I have discovered that "it" is a whole bunch of stuff wrapped up in one and this one little gym has shown me that I am not done pushing myself to limits I never thought I could reach.
I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I have a million places to visit on my bucket list and that is just the start. There are 1,000 experiences that I would like to have- not as many foods I would like to taste, but maybe that limit will be pushed when I am 49. I am raising 3 kids. Each of them has helped me maintain my "kid" attitude and I am very thankful for them because on this particular birthday I don't feel old at all. I feel like I am still too young to have the responsibility of shaping the minds and hearts of 3 young children. Who thought I was capable of doing THAT? There's also this guy who has stood by my side for 16 years now and has challenged me throughout life's events to be the best person I can be. He has brought out strength I never thought I had and struggled through the thick and thin of the uncertainties that one faces over time without passing judgement along the way. I am not the person that my husband married 10 years ago, but we have taken that journey together.
So, after all of this rambling, what am I saying...somewhere along the line I have found that this year is not a stepping stone in to being old. It's the start of something new. It's a celebration of being able to push yourself to places that you never thought you could go. To being able to face your fear and conquer it. I am looking forward to the journey. I am glad that throughout these years I have made the choices I have. Every one, good or bad has shaped me and led me to this place where I am right now. I have some pretty cool stories and have lived a rich life. Full of friends, family and experiences that I wouldn't change for the world. I only hope that the stories can keep coming, the friendships can keep growing, the experiences are rich and that I will never figure out what I want to be when I grow up. If I figure that out, what would I be working towards?
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