Thieves Be Gone

Morning!! Don't compare yourself to others in the box - It runs the risk of stealing your joy! If you RX, but come in 'last' (hate that word), don't diminish your RX by saying 'but I came in last'... YOU finished and you busted your ass!! It doesn't matter if you finish in 5 minutes, 15 minutes or 30 minutes... Be better than the YOU that you were yesterday! If you compare yourself to YOU, you will never steal your joy because you'll always be BETTER! Don't compare to others.. just YOU!!! :) -Shan

**This post was from Facebook and was displayed originally by Woman of Crossfit=Strong. 




On Friday morning, I made it to the 10:30 class at the gym. It has been a long week of vacation, non-Paleo eating and quite simply intense child time. I really needed the morning class to escape, if even for an hour. One hour gives me a quick dose of everything I need- my adult humor and conversation as well as a period in which I am simply being. I am up against nothing but myself and I am not thinking about the next event, pick-up, meal or anything else. I am simply in the moment, whatever that moment may be and all I am thinking about is getting through that block of time. It's kind of nice- fail or succeed. I am me, and I am there.

The post above was shared on the CrossFit Rumble page of Facebook today. It couldn't be more pertinent to my experience at the gym yesterday. I walked in thinking that the workout looked tough. The WODs will come back around every now and then and you remember the tough ones. This one was called "The Shining." I remember doing it way back when, and not being able to RX even a little bit of it. Sometimes I can do 2 of the 3 portions of the WOD and I have to scale the 3rd, sometimes I can't even do that. On this particular one, I thought that I wanted to give it a shot and try this time to RX the whole thing. I knew it was going to be tough. I was going to have a hard time with it, but I have done each movement of the WOD alone and been able to complete the reps and weights. If I didn't try, I would walk out of the gym telling myself I should have tried it and felt guilty the entire day for sandbagging the workout.

This is where the above quote hits home. When I was done with the WOD (25 kettlebells at 35 lbs; 50 double unders; 15 hang power cleans at 95 lbs: 4 rounds for time) I wrote my time up on the board with both embarrassment and pride. I was embarrassed because I had the slowest time on the board- and probably would be the slowest time for the rest of the day. It took me 30:36. I was proud because I did it. I suffered through and swore like a truck driver on each failed hang power clean because I knew that I had to do that rep again. I stopped and almost threw my rope through the wall when I got to rep 48 on the double unders and missed. Then I laughed at myself because I was considering double unders my rest. I almost dropped the kettlebell on my head not once, but twice. When I wondered why, I was pretty sure the answer was simply, "You are exhausted." BUT-I made it through.

For months, I have been comparing myself to people younger than myself, people more fit than myself, and people who quite frankly started this whole journey in a very different place than I did. I get frustrated because I can't complete an unassisted pull up or a handstand push up like the people that have only been at the gym for 4 months can. Honestly, it doesn't matter. I have finally come to the point where I am not worried about taking 10 minutes more than the last person, because you know what? I just RX'd that stupid WOD and didn't give up. I AM better than I was yesterday and I am a HELL of a lot better than I was 1 year ago. 

It has taken me a long time to get to this point. The point where I will not be afraid to attempt to RX a workout because I am going to be so far behind everyone else. I will know inside of myself that the time of 30:36 was a hard earned time filled with blood, sweat and quite possibly tears and I did it. On my own. Add that to my list of accomplishments and think with pride about how far I have come. Don't sweat the time. The Shining will come again, and when it does I will RX it again- faster.