Hiring someone to help me clean the house has been a source of many hours of conversation between James and I. He has been for it and I have been against it. My take on it has been that since I am no longer working outside the home, a major component of my job as a stay at home mom is to keep a clean house. By admitting I can't keep up, I am admitting I can't do my job. James believes that asking for help in this way is simply a way to free myself up to do other tasks and why not get rid of this part of the job? Outsource, if you will.
The scary part is, I spent 2 days removing clutter and straightening up. I made each kid clean their respective bedrooms and then the morning the cleaners were to come, I made every bed in the house and did the dishes. Even though it clearly stated that the cleaners would do that, I just couldn't allow it. How could I let them see how disgusting my house had gotten? Now, here is the kicker...the cleaners that came the first time aren't the ones I hired. This was just a "free" cleaning I got through a promotion at Jordan's furniture so the REAL cleaning person won't see how horrible the showers really looked. I will never see The Maids again because they saw my house at its all time worst. That one simple fact was the only reason I let them in. (They did do a good job, I just opted for someone a little less "factory" style)
I'm still trying to come to terms with the whole idea. I'm a little embarrassed by it. I recognize that this is a luxury that not everyone has the ability to enjoy, and it makes me a little uncomfortable. I have managed to get over the feeling of failure at my job and am actually beginning to embrace the idea. The fact that after school or the gym I don't have to race home to get something cleaned feels good. I didn't realize what a weight was on my shoulders until it was lifted. Every time I sat down at night I would be thinking of the things I should be doing and telling myself I shouldn't sit down. Now I can actually enjoy a minute or two. The first time the house was cleaned I caught myself in my normal routine and when Jillian asked me to play with her stuffed animals with her for a little while I said to her, "Jillian, I will play with you a little later. Right now I have to clean." I realized then that in fact I DIDN'T have to clean anything and I promptly plopped myself on the floor and watched a pink penguin and a tie dyed bear do a ballet recital with a cast of other fabulously decorated stuffies. It was wonderful. Coming to terms with this might be easier than I thought!
I'm still trying to come to terms with the whole idea. I'm a little embarrassed by it. I recognize that this is a luxury that not everyone has the ability to enjoy, and it makes me a little uncomfortable. I have managed to get over the feeling of failure at my job and am actually beginning to embrace the idea. The fact that after school or the gym I don't have to race home to get something cleaned feels good. I didn't realize what a weight was on my shoulders until it was lifted. Every time I sat down at night I would be thinking of the things I should be doing and telling myself I shouldn't sit down. Now I can actually enjoy a minute or two. The first time the house was cleaned I caught myself in my normal routine and when Jillian asked me to play with her stuffed animals with her for a little while I said to her, "Jillian, I will play with you a little later. Right now I have to clean." I realized then that in fact I DIDN'T have to clean anything and I promptly plopped myself on the floor and watched a pink penguin and a tie dyed bear do a ballet recital with a cast of other fabulously decorated stuffies. It was wonderful. Coming to terms with this might be easier than I thought!
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